You ask, but do not have because . . .

If we seek God for an answer of our own making, we will not have what we ask of him. We want God to provide a way, but often refuse to listen to his voice. We refuse to obey the word he has already given us. We want God to meet us on our own terms. James writes, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions” (James 4:3, ESV). We will never find answers or find the strength to resist sin if we hold on to our pride, for “God opposes the proud” (vs 6). So many of us will pray but then ignore the words of God as he speaks to us. We don’t want “the wisdom from above [which] is first pure, the peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere” (3:17). We don’t want a wisdom that is true and just and sees us for who we are and refuses to show impartiality as it exposes our sin and speaks with reason. When we look into God’s words it “is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror” for God’s words expose our hearts. “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account” (Hebrews 4:12,13, ESV). Here is the deal, we may pray, but we don’t want this, and therefore our prayers are not answered. Well, they are answered, but we refuse to hear, for we fear being exposed for who we. We fear our nakedness being shown to the world. But it is only in allowing the word of God to expose our nakedness that we find healing.

And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,

nor be weary when reproved by him.

For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,

and chastises every son whom he receives.”

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.

(Hebrews 12:5–13, ESV)

God uses his word to expose us, but then washes us with his word and brings healing. Though God’s exposing our sin brings healing, we are “like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you” (Psalm32:9). We want to conquer our sin in our own way. In a way that makes us feel safe. We want to hold on to our pride. We have forgotten the promise of the Gospel,

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,

whose sin is covered.

Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,

and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away

through my groaning all day long.

For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;

my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah

I acknowledged my sin to you,

and I did not cover my iniquity;

I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”

and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

(Psalm 32:1–5, ESV)

Healing never comes from protecting our pride. But the love of God for us is immense even in this for it is in this state that God calls to us. “Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, ‘He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us’? But he gives us more grace. Therefore, it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and morn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to morning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you” (James4:5-10). When we see ourselves as we are, we ought to morn and weep, for our sin is great. But when we understand this, we also understand God’s grace for us, and we no longer have to perform before God or man. We can lay down our performance. Jesus calls to us, “Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

One of the reasons we hold on to our pride is because the Gospel does not call us to live alone but calls us to walk this out in community. James is clear that healing comes from hearing the word of God. God’s word comes alive as we experience the body of Christ. We are not meant to hear God’s word alone. The scripture says, “Better is open rebuke, then hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:5,6a). James ends his letter with this, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” As Paul admonishes us to put sin to death, he also encourages us to “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Colossians 3:16). And in this truth, we are not only surrounded by the love of God but the love of the body of Christ.