God does not lose any who would come have to him

While some of the specifics about our judgment day remain a mystery, there are some things we can be assured of. One of those things is that God will not lose any who would come to Jesus. God’s judgment is not arbitrary but instead is based on wisdom and certainty. And so we can be certain that there is no scenario where God knows given a certain circumstance, a person would have believed, but he condemns them anyway. Paul affirms this when he writes,

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. (Romans 8:28–30, ESV)

God knows every scenario we might encounter and how we would respond

The scripture assures us that as we stand before God’s throne, we will be “naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account” (Hebrews 4:13, ESV). This should bring us comfort, knowing that if there is a circumstance where we would believe, he knows it. The scripture is clear God prefers mercy to judgment and seeks to provide a way for us to come to him. He who knows all things is able to sustain anyone who would come to him given another circumstance other than the one they lived. Because of God’s love, we need not fear missing his grace due to a fleeting moment or dying right before we would have believed or even the circumstances of our life. We can have confidence that no one who would have come to God under different circumstances will be cast out. God knows the heart of all of us, understands all our circumstances, and will judge faithfully in righteousness and equity. No one will be able to bring charges against God and accuse him of being unloving or unfair. But because God takes all circumstances and scenarios into account when he judges, his judgment once rendered, is final. The door is shut.

Steadfast love and faithfulness go before the throne of judgment

The scripture tells us of God that “Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you” (Psalm 89:14, ESV). God’s judgments are neither malicious nor arbitrary; they are rooted in righteousness and justice and on this strong foundation steadfast love and faithfulness go before him as he judges. Pause on this: in ALL God’s judgments even condemnation, steadfast love and faithfulness go before his verdict. This means that before any judgment is made, one must encounter and get through the flood of His steadfast love and faithfulness. On the day of judgment, those who are condemned will know that their condemnation was preceded by God’s steadfast and exhaustive pursuit. Their mouths will be shut knowing that their fate is all their own. They have rejected the love that has gone before them. The Gospel which comes first offered them reconciliation, but instead “They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved” (2 Thessalonians 2:10b, NIV).

This is why their condemnation is so sure: They have been given every opportunity to leave the kingdom of darkness and come into the light, but because they love the darkness more than the light they have chosen darkness.

Who are those who are condemned

God does not condemn the innocent. But of course, none of us are innocent. So let us rephrase this. God does not condemn those who come to him in repentance and faith. I am not aware of anywhere in scripture that says this is only a temporal truth that stops. However, the scripture does warn that our hearts can become so hardened that we will choose to never repent regardless of how much God pursues us. Gehenna is described as a place of “gnashing of teeth”, a term symbolizing hostility and anger. And this hostility is directed at God. Those who reject Jesus do so because they love their deeds more than the desire to come to God. God opposes the kingdoms they have made (more here). Those who are condemned are described as those who chose to persist in their wickedness, despite being offered hope through repentance and faith in the work and worth of Jesus. Here are some scriptures that describe this:

and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. (2 Thessalonians 2:10, ESV)

In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, “There is no God.” (Psalm 10:4, ESV)

If favor is shown to the wicked, he does not learn righteousness; in the land of uprightness he deals corruptly and does not see the majesty of the LORD. (Isaiah 26:10, ESV)

She listens to no voice; she accepts no correction. She does not trust in the LORD; she does not draw near to her God. (Zephaniah 3:2, ESV)

But they refused to pay attention and turned a stubborn shoulder and stopped their ears that they might not hear. They made their hearts diamond-hard lest they should hear the law and the words that the LORD of hosts had sent by his Spirit through the former prophets. Therefore great anger came from the LORD of hosts. (Zechariah 7:11-12, ESV)

But they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked in their own counsels and the stubbornness of their evil hearts, and went backward and not forward. (Jeremiah 7:24, ESV)

O LORD, do not your eyes look for truth? You have struck them down, but they felt no anguish; you have consumed them, but they refused to take correction. They have made their faces harder than rock; they have refused to repent. (Jeremiah 5:3, ESV)

For they are a rebellious people, lying children, children unwilling to hear the instruction of the LORD; (Isaiah 30:9, ESV)

The pride of Israel testifies to his face; yet they do not return to the LORD their God, nor seek him, for all this. (Hosea 7:10, ESV)

Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. (1 John 3:8, ESV)

And those who are in Gehenna remain there because they continue to love darkness and continue to refuse to turn to the light.

Daniel is told, “Many will be purified, made spotless, and refined, but the wicked will continue to act wickedly. None of the wicked will understand, but the wise will understand” (Daniel 12:10, BSB)

Let the evildoer still do evil, and the filthy still be filthy, and the righteous still do right, and the holy still be holy.” (Revelation 22:11, ESV)

No one who is condemned desires to repent and come to God. If you continue to reject God, the only source of love, beauty, and goodness, what do you have left? Many of us have suffered the agony of lost or unrequited love. How much more is the agony of those who have rejected the very source of love and are hostile to it. The weight of their own rejection of goodness, beauty, and love is unimaginable. It is hell.

In Jesus’s discussion with Nicodemus, he confirms these things, when he states, “Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God” (John 3:18, ESV). But this in of itself does not tell us the full story, for we already know that belief in Jesus is what distinguishes those who are saved from those who are condemned. But who is preventing those who are condemned from believing? Is it life events, circumstances, or others? None of these external factors keep the condemned from God. Instead, as our hearts stand naked before God, it is our hearts that condemn us. Jesus goes on to say that it is our own stubbornness that keeps us from the love of God.

Jesus describes those who are found guilty before the throne of God, “And this is the verdict: Light has come into the world but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.” (John 3:19, NIV). Why are people condemned? It is because they love the darkness so much that they refuse to come to the light. There are no circumstances under which those who are in Gehenna would have or will turn to God. For them to do so would be to go against everything they love and treasure as good. They do not want God to be near because he is a threat to all they hold dear (more here).

Though they are at enmity with and reject God, those who are condemned will long for the goodness that those in the light have and so there will be “weeping” at this loss alongside their “gnashing of teeth” as there was with Esau. But this weeping is not accompanied by repentance or turning to God. Paul warns us, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV). They will long for the light, but not at the price of relinquishing the darkness they cherish so dearly. They are so ensnared and enslaved by their own desires that their love for the “drug” surpasses their desire to be healed.

And so the scriptures teach that it is those who both continue to walk in unrighteousness and refuse to come to God that are condemned. Those who repent and come to God are freely welcomed into the love of God. God does not keep those in Gehenna from repenting and coming to him, they are stuck there by the chains they have forged for themselves. We can have confidence that those in Gehenna would not have repented under any circumstances. Part of what makes Gehena so devastating is this: those who go there do not abandon their wickedness, but continually choose to separate themselves from God. They continue to choose to walk in wickedness continuing to incur further wrath. Gehena is not for the hypothetical person in Alex O’Conner’s imaginary scenario who if only given a few more moments would have believed, but died just before that. Gehena is for those who stubbornly and eternally continue in disbelief.

This is why the scripture urges us not to harden our hearts, for it is not death that will seal our condemnation, but rather a hardened and unrepentant heart. And this state can come long before we die, leaving us without hope both in this age and the age to come. This is why the scripture says, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts” (Psalm 95:7-8, Hebrews 3:7-8,15; 4:7). The scripture warns that we should not assume that we will one day in the future change and have a repentant heart. Today is our opportunity. Again it is not death that finalizes our state, but a hard and unrepentant heart of unbelief. This can happen now at this moment, before death, so do not linger to come to God when you hear the call of the Gospel.

God exhausts his pursuit

Earlier, I mentioned that Alex O’Conner did not ask an appropriate question. The reason is that there will never be anyone in Gehenna who would have repented under other circumstances. However one might ask if the steadfast love and faithfulness that go before God’s throne is exhaustive. Has God done everything possible to bring this person to repentance? The scripture would support an affirmative answer. God’s readiness to forgive is an inherent part of God’s nature. When God’s glory came near to Moses, “The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, ‘The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34:6). God was declaring this is who he is. Peter writes, “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” Other verses support this as well.

Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. (Isaiah 30:18, ESV)

Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. (Luke 15:7, ESV)

Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” (Luke 15:10, ESV)

Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love. He will again have compassion on us; He will vanquish our iniquities. You will cast out all our sins into the depths of the sea. (Micah 7:18-19, ESV)

the LORD appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. (Jeremiah 31:3, ESV)

The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. (Psalm 103:8, ESV)

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! (Matthew 23:37; Luke 13:34, ESV)

“How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple? How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing and fools hate knowledge? If you turn at my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you. Because I have called and you refused to listen, have stretched out my hand and no one has heeded, because you have ignored all my counsel and would have none of my reproof, (Proverbs 1:22-25, ESV)

God is eager to embrace the rebel

Not only is God slow to anger and patient, but he is also ready and eager to forgive the rebellious.

“But if a wicked person turns away from all his sins that he has committed and keeps all my statutes and does what is just and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions that he has committed shall be remembered against him; for the righteousness that he has done he shall live. Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord GOD, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live? (Ezekiel 18:21-23, ESV)

“Yet even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster. (Joel 2:12-13, ESV)

“Son of man, give the people of Israel this message: You are saying, ‘Our sins are heavy upon us; we are wasting away! How can we survive?’ Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel? (Ezekiel 33:10-11, ESV)

“Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:6-8,ESV)

“Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. (Isaiah 1:18, ESV)

To the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness, for we have rebelled against him. (Daniel 9:9, ESV)

who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. (1 Timothy 2:4, ESV)

They refused to obey and did not remember the miracles you had done for them. Instead, they became stubborn and appointed a leader to take them back to their slavery in Egypt. But you are a God of forgiveness, gracious and merciful, slow to become angry, and rich in unfailing love. You did not abandon them, (Nehemiah 9:17, ESV)

Our death does not change God’s character

It is foolish for us to think that something like our death would change the nature of God. Death does not separate us from God. Not even our sin and rebellion alone separate us from God. It is a hard, unrepentant heart who refuses to come to God under any circumstances that ultimately seals the fate of those in Gehenna.

Yet the LORD warned Israel and Judah by every prophet and every seer, saying, “Turn from your evil ways and keep my commandments and my statutes, in accordance with all the Law that I commanded your fathers, and that I sent to you by my servants the prophets.” But they would not listen, but were stubborn, as their fathers had been, who did not believe in the LORD their God. (2 Kings 17:13-14, ESV)

Yet the LORD, the God of their fathers, sent word to them again and again by His messengers, because He had compassion on His people and on His dwelling place; but they continually mocked the messengers of God, despised His words, and scoffed at His prophets, until the wrath of the LORD rose against His people, until there was no remedy. (1 Chronicles 36:15-16,ESV)

O LORD, do not your eyes look for truth? You have struck them down, but they felt no anguish; you have consumed them, but they refused to take correction. They have made their faces harder than rock; they have refused to repent. (Jeremiah 5:3, ESV)

You have neither listened nor inclined your ears to hear, although the LORD persistently sent to you all his servants the prophets, saying, ‘Turn now, every one of you, from his evil way and evil deeds, and dwell upon the land that the LORD has given to you and your fathers from of old and forever. Do not go after other gods to serve and worship them, or provoke me to anger with the work of your hands. Then I will do you no harm.’ Yet you have not listened to me, declares the LORD, that you might provoke me to anger with the work of your hands to your own harm. (Jeremiah 25:4-7, ESV)

But of Israel he says, “All day long I have held out my hands to a disobedient and contrary people.” (Romans 10:21, ESV)

He said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead.’” (Luke 16:31, ESV)

What about Sodom?

In Matthew 11:24, Jesus states, “And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? You will be brought down to Hades. For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day” (ESV). Does this mean that people who are in hell would have repented if they were given a different circumstance? No, this verse is not about the individual, but about a city and a temporal situation not about the age to come. Even though this Sodom would have responded to the works of Jesus, this does not mean that individual hearts would have changed or that it would be more than an outward change. In the Gospels many times scripture refers to those who believed outwardly in Jesus but did not have saving faith. We see this with Ahab who is described in these words, “(There was none who sold himself to do what was evil in the sight of the LORD like Ahab, whom Jezebel his wife incited. He acted very abominably in going after idols, as the Amorites had done, whom the LORD cast out before the people of Israel.)” 1 Kings 21:25-26, ESV). But after Elijah spoke and warned Ahab of God’s wrath, “when Ahab heard those words, he tore his clothes and put sackcloth on his flesh and fasted and lay in sackcloth and went about dejectedly. And the word of the LORD came to Elijah the Tishbite, saying, “Have you seen how Ahab has humbled himself before me? Because he has humbled himself before me, I will not bring the disaster in his days; but in his son’s days I will bring the disaster upon his house” (1 Kings 21:27–29, ESV). Despite Ahab’s superficial repentance, God readily relented putting Ahab to death, demonstrating his eagerness to show grace even to one of the worst kings of Israel. Sadly, it does not appear that Ahab responded to this act of grace. Jesus words about Sodom shows the eagerness God has to show kindness despite our hardened hearts. God extends love even to his enemies who reject him. To this kind of heart Paul aptly writes, “Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? But because you are stubborn and refuse to turn from your sin, you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself. For a day of anger is coming when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed” (Romans 2:4-5, ESV).

But not everyone has the same knowledge of who God is

But you might say, “But not everyone has the same revelation”. And I would agree this is the case. However, this does not mean that God does not exhaustively pursue us or take all this into account as he judges us. Those with less knowledge will not be held to the same accountability of someone who has extensive knowledge of God. They will be judged based on their obedience to the knowledge of God they have been given. Paul states, “The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent” (Acts 17:30, ESV). God knows our hearts and he will judge us by what we do know, not by what we do not know. But he has made himself known to us all, and so we are without excuse if we are not obedient to the revelation we do have. It is also clear that God is found by all who seek him with sincerity and that God is quick to bring us to himself. Paul in his address, “standing in the midst of the Areopagus, said:

“Men of Athens, I perceive that in every way you are very religious. For as I passed along and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription: ‘To the unknown god.’ What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for

“ ‘In him we live and move and have our being’;

as even some of your own poets have said,

“ ‘For we are indeed his offspring.’

Being then God’s offspring, we ought not to think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and imagination of man. The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from the dead.” (Acts 17:22–31, ESV)

Also consider this: God is loving even toward his enemies. He will not vindictively pile on judgment. For those who have already hardened their heart, more revelation would only bring more judgment. In the Gospels, there are occasions when it is clear that the hearts of those around Jesus were hard and he simply walks away, refusing to give himself to them. In some cases, this is the most loving thing for God to do. God in his wisdom knows how to give enough revelation so that those who are condemned are left without excuse, but then backing away when that revelation would only cause more condemnation. No one will stand before God and be judged by what they do not know. And no one who is condemned will accuse God of not pursuing them exhaustively. Their mouths will be shut and no accusation will be brought before God because they will acknowledge that his judgments are just and fair.

before the LORD, for he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world with righteousness, and the peoples with equity. (Psalm 98:9)

before the LORD, for he comes, for he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness, and the peoples in his faithfulness. (Psalm 96:13, ESV)

then a throne will be established in steadfast love, and on it will sit in faithfulness in the tent of David one who judges and seeks justice and is swift to do righteousness.” (Isaiah 16:5, ESV)

God is patient and slow to anger, never quick to condemn. Those who face condemnation have first had to come through the flood of the unwavering steadfast love and faithfulness of God that go before his throne and precede his judgment. The only ones in Gehenna are those who have rejected God’s love.

A word of warning about bad questions

In the case above, Alex O’Conner posed a poorly framed question. Sadly, this is common among “atheist apologists”. It is easy to be skeptical and to phrase questions in a way that gives the appearance of wisdom on the surface, but upon closer examination only reveals our foolishness. I wrote more on this here. But my word of caution is this: If you find yourself asking these kinds of questions, take a moment to examine your heart. Persisting on asking foolish questions, even though there are good answers out there, suggests a deeper issue. Contrary to what some atheists will try to make you believe, there are good answers out there for these questions.

As Christians when dealing with these kinds of foolish questions, we must be aware we cannot know the hearts of those asking them. Those asking these questions may be sincere and we should to be patient with them. But we also should encourage them to examine their motives behind the questions as well, while addressing any genuine inquiries with gentleness and respect.

FURTHER SCRIPTURE READING: Luke 14:12-35 & 15

 After God (the King) made a garden (the place) and then created man (the people) and placed him in it, and before he had made the woman, he immediately gave him a task and a vision. . .

“The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it.”

God had given Adam a purpose, a work, and a vision to accomplish in establishing the Kingdom. God was the Author and the King of Adam’s vocation. Adam did not set his own agenda or go his own way. In joy, love, and delight, Adam looked to God for his vision and purpose. However, God knew Adam couldn’t accomplish this vision alone; dominion of the earth could not be accomplished by one man. God said, “It is not good for man to be alone”. And so, God brought the animals before Adam in order to see if a helper could be found to accompany Adam in his task. Yet Adam did not find a helper fit for him among the creatures God had made. . ..

So God put Adam to sleep and created a helper that was fit . . . a woman, someone who was bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. And after having gone through all the animals, when Adam saw the woman, that God had brought him, he cried out in joy,

                “This at last is bone of my bones

                                and flesh of my flesh;

                she shall be called Woman,

                                because she was taken out of Man.”

(Genesis 2:23 ESV)

Finally, after all his searching, he “at last” found someone above all the others who was a helper perfectly fit to walk alongside him in the vision God had set for them. In bringing the animals before Adam, first, God demonstrated that Adam was to love and cherish his wife above all others. That is why it is said,

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24 ESV)

We see this not only from the very beginning of creation, but also later, as Paul and Peter both look back to God’s purposes for marriage and have as their core exhortation to husbands . . . love, value, and cherish your wives. And in the Old Testament, through the prophets, God states, “she is your companion and your wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:14b ESV). Husbands, your wives are to be cherished, are to be held close, and to be your companion by God’s purpose, design, and covenant. If a man does not love his wife, the man is in rebellion against God.

God had given Adam a task and vision he could not accomplish alone. And for this reason, God made the woman. The wife is the husband’s companion in pursuing God’s Kingdom.

After presenting the woman to Adam and bring them together, God blessed them both, added to Adam’s vision and purpose, and together commanded them to expand their territory “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion . . ..” The woman was created as a helper fit to help support and walk alongside Adam as they accomplished this command of establishing the Kingdom together. Without her it would not have been possible. This too was God’s vision for the family from the beginning. And again later, we see Paul and Peter also echoing this vision as they both exhort wives to submit to and respecting their husbands. Proverbs 31 words it this way,

                 An excellent wife who can find?

                                She is far more precious than jewels.

                The heart of her husband trusts in her,

                                and he will have no lack of gain.

                She does him good, and not harm,

                                all the days of her life.

                (Proverbs 31:10-12 ESV)

“The heart of her husband trusts in her . . .” She was to bless her husband in this task. She was at last is a helper fit for man to be a co-heir, a partner, someone who will support Adam in pursuing God’s vision. “She is far more precious than jewels.”

So, the man is to love and cherish his wife. The wife is to respect and support her husband. And through this, they are to partner in accomplishing God’s vision. We see this outlined by Paul, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” Understand this . . . no one is allowed their own vision, except for God. The wife does not have her own vision, nor does the husband. But each have their roles in accomplishing God’s vision for the family. That is why as I have been writing I keep referring to God’s vision. This is important. The purpose of mankind is not to pursue its own glory, but to pursue the Glory of God. I repeat, no one is allowed to have their own vision, and to do so is rebellion. The husband is not allowed to set his own vision for the family, nor is the wife allowed to have her own vision for the family; both are to pursue God’s vision together. The scripture teaches “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 16:25 ESV). Keeping this in mind, let us look at the roles for the husband and wife further . . .

Man was created first. The woman came out of man. Adam also named the woman. These were both signs of his authority. From the beginning, before sin came into the world, the husband was created to lead and to be the head of his family. The husband’s headship was not an afterthought. Paul makes this clear in 1 Timothy 2, when he appeals to this as the reason for man’s authority in the church. Paul also refers to this fact elsewhere, “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” (1 Corinthians 11:8,9). The woman was given to the man because he could not accomplish God’s vision without her. Adam needed his wife to succeed. Paul quickly follows this with, “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God” (1 Corinthians 11:11,12). Her support for God’s vision was essential. It was part of God’s design to accomplish the vision God had for mankind. And after God had presented the woman to the man, God “saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:31 ESV). The roles God had established between the man and the woman were beautiful, breath taking, splendid, grand, pleasurable, and life giving.

The role God had given the woman at the beginning was intensely beautiful and imperishable. She is to be a support and help-meet to her husband. The scripture says that the head of the woman is the man. The wife is to look to her husband for instruction and value his leadership and direction. God gave Adam his commandment, before He made the woman. Adam was to speak God’s word’s to his wife. Paul describes how wives are to be cleansed and sanctified by their husbands through the washing of the word (Ephesians 5:26). Apart from God and the scripture, the husband should be the first and primary source of sanctification and teaching for the wife. This is one of the reasons why Paul states in 1 Corinthians 14, “If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home” (ESV). The wife is to look to her husband in this, because he needs her. Her thoughts and concerns are precious, and as she comes to him as her head drawing him out, he also is sanctified and grows in the Lord, through her strength. He becomes more like Christ as she displays the beauty of the glory of God, through her submission. 1 Peter 3 shows that the wife’s submissive behavior is the most influential thing on a man’s heart. A submissive wife is not a weak wife, the scripture does not abide the thought of a weak woman. A wife has the fortitude and the strength to build her home, even if her husband is weak and worthless. A woman is not to compromise her strength, but to approach her husband in her strength as she submits to him. As she comes to her husband and submits to him, in strength, not weakness, God’s vision for the family is strengthened.

Peter discusses the sanctifying power of a godly woman and how her beauty can even change the heart of a hard, calloused, and ungodly man (1 Peter 3).  Peter describes a beautiful woman as one who is precious, valuable, needed, and cherished both to the husband and to God. He states, “but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.” Therefore, beauty for a woman is having a gentle and quiet spirit. And this “gentle and quiet spirit” is displayed by the wife’s submission and obedience to her husband, by looking to him as her head and lord. In the letter to the Ephesians, Paul states, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”

Obedience and submission to the husband, is the calling of God for the wife. Her vision should be caught up in supporting her husband’s pursuit of God’s vision. “A virtuous and worthy wife [earnest and strong in character] is a crowning joy to her husband” (Proverbs 14:2, Amplified). The bible describes her as noble, influential, powerful, and strong. This is not the world’s idea of submission. Our culture does not define or understand submission correctly. It is a submission and obedience that come from the inner beauty of a woman who knows her God and intimately pursues His glory.  The Proverbs 31 woman is a woman of ingenuity, intelligence, wisdom, strength, and ability. She has the full trust of her husband, not because she is weak, but because she is strong. “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Like Joseph, her husband does not need to concern himself with anything under her care. “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” He knows she will support him and his leadership in the vision God has given them together as a family. She is his partner and companion. She is his primary support and council. She is the number one influence in his life. He desperately relies on her strength. No one, no man or woman, is better suited to help him pursue God. In Proverbs 31, it states, “Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land” (ESV). Don’t read this too quickly. This is not a description of the husband, but a description of what the wife has accomplished. Because of her support for her husband, he is known and respected and influential. He couldn’t accomplish this without her. God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone . . ..” The scripture states, “The wisest of women builds her house . . .” (Proverbs 14:1a, ESV). A woman partners with her husband to establish the home. And she can also tear it down in foolishness. The wife has a lot of influence in establishing or tearing down God’s vision for the family. The husband is not meant to do it without her. He desperately needs his wife as a coheir and partner in the Kingdom.

Paul writes in Titus, “Older women, . . . They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” The idea of submission comes from God’s word which means it comes from the very heart of God. He established the role of the wife at creation and sustained it in the scripture. God established the role of the wife, for God has a bigger vision – the Gospel story of Christ and the Church. Paul states that the relationship between a husband and wife is an image of Christ and the church, a husband or a wife who fail to display their end of that image, are failing to display the Gospel in their lives to themselves and to others, and the Gospel and the word of God is at risk of being reviled. A Godly woman submits to her husband because she has a deep understanding of the Gospel and the power of the Kingdom of God. She has a love for God’s word and trusts her Father. The strongest influence a woman has on her husband is her submission. It is imposing and powerful, not weak. It is the strongest power to turn the heart of a hardhearted calloused man to God. If this kind of man is going to change, the strongest influence is the “quiet and gentle spirit” of a godly wife. And if this is the case for an ungodly man, how much more so is this the case for the godly husband. A godly woman is full of strength and influence and the wisest of them will use that strength to support her husband and build her home.

When mankind sinned the relational purpose of God for the husband and wife became corrupted. Sin brought curses on mankind, one of those being . . . “[Wife,] Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16 ESV) Corruption entered the relationship between husband and wife. The wife’s desire was no longer to serve her husband, but instead was to devour her husband and thus corrupting her husband. And the man’s sinful response to this affront would be to crush his wife and to neglect loving and cherishing his wife, and thus destroying her. We see this same type of wording in Genesis 4, when God speaks to Cain, “sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” In Hebrew language these two passages are identical. Sin desires to overtake devour Cain, but Cain proper response is to crush and put to death sin. And it is in the fall, where both the husband and the wife, because of sin, decided to take up and pursue their own vision and purpose instead of God’s. Sin corrupted the love the husband had for his wife; he no longer cherished her like he should. And the wife no longer supported and submitted to her husband, like she should. God’s vision for the family was corrupted because of sin, pride, selfishness, argumentative spirits, harshness, and more took its place.

It is not God’s design for a man to crush his wife. Nor is he a dictator. He is to portray Christ in His headship. And he is to be under Christ’s headship.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5)

God’s design for man from the beginning was to shepherd his family in the way of the Lord. Man was made to be the head of the family. As a woman is called to submit to her husband, the husband is called to love and lay down his life for her. He lays down his vision, his desires, his hopes and submits them to Christ for her and his children. When mankind sinned God address Adam, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife . . ..” Adam put his wife’s vision above God’s vision. Adam failed as the head of his family by failing to submit and obey to his Head and Lord. He is to lead and protect his family under the vision of God. The man is not allowed to lead by his own interests, desires or whims or the desires of others.  The husband is not allowed to have his own vision but has the duty of establishing the vision of God for his family, by presenting the Word and the Gospel. The scripture calls husbands to love, cherish, lay down their lives, and lead as Christ does the church. This is a high calling and is accomplished as the husband lays himself down underneath the headship of Christ. The husband’s first allegiance is to Christ. And through that allegiance to Christ, a husband can love his wife.

The scriptures paint a beautiful picture of the enduring passion and enveloping love of a husband for his wife. The husband is commanded to love his wife in the most intense and sacrificial way, with a love that represents Christ’s love for His church, His beloved. God has commanded husbands to sanctify their wives through loving her, by giving up of themselves for her, and gently washing her with the word. Husbands, this is a romantic picture of love. Imagine the physical picture of this and do this with your words, emotions, and actions toward your wife. There is nothing more romantic. This love is not weak, for the husband’s love comes from the strength of Christ. It is a love that has amazing strength and integrity to it that does not compromise on God’s heart for her, while still being full of tenderness. The husband is to live with his wife in an understanding way learning how to cherish and nourish her as his own body. Our words and actions should build her up, not tear her down. The husband is to love his wife, by shepherding his family towards the love of Christ, not himself. It is a love that firmly calls us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Jesus. And a husband must follow Jesus to be the husbands his wife needs.

Just as Christ’s love is effectual in sanctifying our hearts, the husband’s love through Christ will be the most powerful instrument in changing his wife and helping her to grow in Christ. Even if she is an ungodly woman, this is the story of Hosea and this is the story of Christ and His church. So whether or not she is godly or not, the husband is to passionately love his wife, knowing that this love is effectual. And even if she does not change, the husband’s head is Christ, and he is to be faithful to the covenant that has been made between him and his wife, through Christ.

The scripture describes wives as “cherished”, “delight of your eyes”, “beloved”, “praised”, “more precious than jewels”, and “favor of the LORD”. We are to love our wives above all others and hold fast to her.  In Malachi God says that she is the husband’s companion by covenant. 1 Peter 3 states that she is our co-heir. And husbands are to treat their wives as such. The Lord states that he is a witness between the husband and how he treats his wife, and will not listen to a man who does not cherish his wife

“You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant”. (Malachi 2:13-14 ESV)

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7, ESV)

The wife is not just a companion but a co-heir and co-worker in the Kingdom of God. God told them both, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” The husband must value his wife as a co-heir and co-worker in accomplishing this. She is is to be his primary counsel and an equal partner in this vision. God requires that the man leads in a way that cherishes his wife as an equal partner in this vision.

God expects the husband to cherish his wife. And if he does not, his prayers will not be heard. This is sobering. The wife has been given to the husband by God. The husband should not reject or treat this gift with disregard. If he does so it is an affront to God. She is your companion, cherished one, beloved by covenant. But this is the joy that God has given husbands, to portray the love of Christ for His bride. And it is exciting, because just as God has given you your wife, He also has established the covenant between you and your wife and made you, her husband. The covenant is made by God and is fulfilled through Christ. A husband leads and loves his family on his knees. And God is faithful and will efficaciously work through a man who sincerely comes to him. And he says, “Come all who are weary.” It in the work of Christ and under the headship of Christ, that a man is able to lead. A Godly man is a man who presses into the gospel.

 “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church”. (Ephesians 5)

The relationship between a husband and wife represents Christ and the church. It is a portrayal of the cosmic story of the Gospel. How we treat our spouses reflects on this image. This story was set at the beginning when the first man and woman were created. And we have the pleasure of participating in that story in our marriages. We can have faith to believe in the beauty, the wonder, and the romance of the story or we can go our own way. But it is under the vision of God for the family that we find true romance and become participants in something greater than ourselves.

Women Theologians

Ladies,

As men, we can read the passages such as 1Timothy 2:9-15 or 1 Corinthians 14:33-38 and see in them only restrictions on women. We can react and say, “You have to obey this rule and this restriction”. Although there is a reason for these verses, and we must take them very seriously, if this is our attitude, we don’t understand these verses. These verses are not there to give us an attitude of “placing restrictions on women”; these verses instead challenge us as men to lead and honor the women around us.

We can look at the scriptures and see God’s heart for women. A Godly woman is described with eloquence and dignity throughout. We have women like Sarah, Ruth, and Esther, and many more who stand out in the history of Israel. We watch and listen as Jesus treats women with honor. They were always near ministering to him, and he to them. Paul walked with the women around him, relying on the gifts that God had given them. And there is so much more, but for time’s sake, I am barely even touching the surface of how the scripture describes the beauty of women. My point is I don’t believe that the majority of heroes of the faith should be men. As we see these scriptures opened up and obeyed, we will see the churches littered with the heroines of the faith. There is no place for any thought that women have less to offer. The Bible screams against this and rebukes any man who contemplates this. It is not God’s heart to put restrictions on women. In the scriptures, He has provided an amazing protection of the beauty and the expressiveness that only a woman can provide. It is God’s heart for a woman to bloom, under the nourishment and protection of His word.

Our pastor has recently been talking about how Mary’s act of anointing Jesus before His death was a powerful and poignant act. In that act, one woman out-theologized all the many men that were in the room. If anyone thinks because a women cannot preach or teach, she has less expression of theology they are wrong. Christ made it clear, what this woman had done would be told everywhere the Gospel was preached. By her act she has challenged both men and women over the ages wherever the Gospel has been preached. Jesus had no intention to limit this woman’s expression of theology . . . nor do the scriptures.

As men, God has called us to lead in the church, but we’d be a fool if we thought we were more than what we are, fellow servants in the Lord, co-laborers in the gospel of God’s grace, with no more influence and strength then the women around us. What Mary did was powerful and meaningful. And she out shone the men around her. A woman can express theology and influence the direction of the church in a way that a man could never do. The church cannot be all God has called it to be without the women, co-laboring with the men.

God has called us men to lead, but He has also called us to honor and cherish the women in our lives. Peter tells husbands that if they do not honor and value their wives, their prayers will not be heard. I don’t believe this just applies to a husband and a wife. If we as men do not honor and cherish the women in our church, we are in danger of having our prayers not heard. A woman has a desire to be captivating and God has left her with a means for that desire to be filled. A woman shouldn’t have to force herself on us to show her theological insight. No, instead as men, we should treat women as captivating and valued. We should seek out what their hearts and what their ideas are. We should be in awe of the insight that God has given women.

Sisters, as your brothers, we want to learn how to encourage you to express theology in the fullness of being a woman and to treat you with the eloquence and dignity that the scriptures dictate. We want you to feel valued and cherished. We want to fight for you with our prayers and actions. Not by convention, by loving you like Jesus, laying our lives down, letting our lives point to one who is truly Romantic, your Savior and Lord. May we be stripped away, so that you will see Jesus. Be patient, we still have a lot to learn, but we pursuing to learn more and grow together through God’s stunning grace in becoming men who treat you with honor, and with God’s help we will. He will grant what He commands . . . by grace alone.

May Our Eyes Always Be Upon Jesus
(written by Landon Lewis)
May our eyes always be upon Jesus,
The founder and perfecter of our faith,
So that we may not grow weary or faint
As we attempt each day to run the race.

Do not grant our eyes the chance to wander
Lest we will give in to the temptation
To stop and marvel at our endurance
Or cringe at our lack of motivation.

Direct our eyes to the one who came down
And though tempted to quit, ran for His church
In perfect, perpetual righteousness
And endured the cross to finish the work.

As our eyes behold your Son’s bloody stripes
May we rest in His race and perfect time
Because it is His hands that will carry us
And His legs that have crossed the finish line.

May God cultivate and bring your heart to full bloom,
Your brothers

First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, 6who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time.

I think in times like this, as Christians, we must be careful to hold fast to the council of our Lord and King. We must not respond out of our emotions or fear. No matter who rules, we have one King. A King who is mighty and because of that we do not fear, and we are able to stand. In our pilgrimage, we are to be faithful observers of the times and are to live in understanding as we represent the Kingdom, in a fallen world. We are ambassadors, calling out on behalf of our King. And even in difficult times, we are to represent our King in our speech and conduct. And so, we do not walk in this world like other men. We do not beguile or slander as other men, but we also do not back down on the truth, but remain faithful and honest, loving mercy and justice. We do not to fail to pray for the ungodly or to love or enemies. And we are not to fail to stand and be a banner, to be salt and light in this world, and to call out for repentance. We are honest about sin, and we are bold in declaring salvation through Christ Jesus. God calls us to both be a rightful observer of the times and to be a call to repentance, but He also calls us to do this with respect and gentleness. When we fail to call out with gentleness and respect, we become blinded by our own passions and are no longer able to see the times. When we fail to call men to repentance and fail to be honest about sin and make a stand, we become like the times or we become cold, lacking love. And in this I challenge myself, this is where I would like to be, and I ask for accountability, if I fail to represent my King. We must call these things out in each other and remind ourselves; we serve one King.

And of the sons of Issachar, men that had understanding of the times ,to know what Israel ought to do. –1 Chronicles 12:32

Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.

I think it is important to realize that Paul here is fighting against the oppression of women. They have a valued role in the church that only they can fill. No man can fill it. And if it is taken away, it is taken away at great loss to the church, who needs women to be strong. If you read Paul’s writings and the rest of the scripture it is very clear that it not Paul’s heart nor the heart of God to restrict women. Paul knows that there is a strength and power that God has given women and he is fighting for that. He does not want to see them stripped away of their strength, power, dignity, and influence. He is fighting for Womanhood, something that is vital for the church to be strong. Their strength is being stripped away from them when we don’t believe God. It is like stripping the pedals off a flower and telling it that it must be a tree to have worth. Don’t underestimate the power of a flower and don’t underestimate a woman who is godly, she has the strength to capture hearts and to change the world. God is very clear that He intends a woman to have strength and dignity and influence. When we try to do this in our own wisdom, we hinder the beauty that God has given women. In walking in our own wisdom, we oppress women and embrace the world, instead of trusting in a God who loves us and cares for us and knows us best. Often these scriptures are approached with such a fear of losing one’s rights that all objectivity is lost, instead of approaching God’s word with confidence that He is trustworthy and what He says is for our good, and that its ok to take an honest and objective look at these scriptures. It is ok, God is safe. God turns the strength and wisdom of this world over and destroys it with something far greater and more beautiful. He is an amazing God. And His dreams for us are so much bigger than our own. He is truly worthy of our trust.

And as a church we should be at the forefront of defending the honor and dignity of people, and this includes women. As a church we should also be encouraging people to trust and fear God and to believe His word.

For me, I have a huge longing to see women have more of a role and influence in the church and society, and my heart breaks to see the high standing that God has for women being torn down by our doubt and fear and by the oppression of the wisdom of this world. I for one believe in women and what they have to give to the church and society.