Additional thoughts: I would also say a danger of the egalitarian mindset is the idea that submission makes you lower. When I submit to my elders, I am not lower, but God is using the gifts he’s giving me to powerfully influence the direction of the church. When I serve in the giftings that God has given me, the power of Christ is more fully and powerfully known in the church. Is it the “ministry positions” or the people on the ground serving every day with others not in the church that have the most influence on the kingdom of God spreading? Let us be okay with her humble quiet lives, for the gospel is so amazingly powerful.

 After God (the King) made a garden (the place) and then created man (the people) and placed him in it, and before he had made the woman, he immediately gave him a task and a vision. . .

“The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it.”

God had given Adam a purpose, a work, and a vision to accomplish in establishing the Kingdom. God was the Author and the King of Adam’s vocation. Adam did not set his own agenda or go his own way. In joy, love, and delight, Adam looked to God for his vision and purpose. However, God knew Adam couldn’t accomplish this vision alone; dominion of the earth could not be accomplished by one man. God said, “It is not good for man to be alone”. And so, God brought the animals before Adam in order to see if a helper could be found to accompany Adam in his task. Yet Adam did not find a helper fit for him among the creatures God had made. . ..

So God put Adam to sleep and created a helper that was fit . . . a woman, someone who was bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. And after having gone through all the animals, when Adam saw the woman, that God had brought him, he cried out in joy,

                “This at last is bone of my bones

                                and flesh of my flesh;

                she shall be called Woman,

                                because she was taken out of Man.”

(Genesis 2:23 ESV)

Finally, after all his searching, he “at last” found someone above all the others who was a helper perfectly fit to walk alongside him in the vision God had set for them. In bringing the animals before Adam, first, God demonstrated that Adam was to love and cherish his wife above all others. That is why it is said,

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24 ESV)

We see this not only from the very beginning of creation, but also later, as Paul and Peter both look back to God’s purposes for marriage and have as their core exhortation to husbands . . . love, value, and cherish your wives. And in the Old Testament, through the prophets, God states, “she is your companion and your wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:14b ESV). Husbands, your wives are to be cherished, are to be held close, and to be your companion by God’s purpose, design, and covenant. If a man does not love his wife, the man is in rebellion against God.

God had given Adam a task and vision he could not accomplish alone. And for this reason, God made the woman. The wife is the husband’s companion in pursuing God’s Kingdom.

After presenting the woman to Adam and bring them together, God blessed them both, added to Adam’s vision and purpose, and together commanded them to expand their territory “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion . . ..” The woman was created as a helper fit to help support and walk alongside Adam as they accomplished this command of establishing the Kingdom together. Without her it would not have been possible. This too was God’s vision for the family from the beginning. And again later, we see Paul and Peter also echoing this vision as they both exhort wives to submit to and respecting their husbands. Proverbs 31 words it this way,

                 An excellent wife who can find?

                                She is far more precious than jewels.

                The heart of her husband trusts in her,

                                and he will have no lack of gain.

                She does him good, and not harm,

                                all the days of her life.

                (Proverbs 31:10-12 ESV)

“The heart of her husband trusts in her . . .” She was to bless her husband in this task. She was at last is a helper fit for man to be a co-heir, a partner, someone who will support Adam in pursuing God’s vision. “She is far more precious than jewels.”

So, the man is to love and cherish his wife. The wife is to respect and support her husband. And through this, they are to partner in accomplishing God’s vision. We see this outlined by Paul, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” Understand this . . . no one is allowed their own vision, except for God. The wife does not have her own vision, nor does the husband. But each have their roles in accomplishing God’s vision for the family. That is why as I have been writing I keep referring to God’s vision. This is important. The purpose of mankind is not to pursue its own glory, but to pursue the Glory of God. I repeat, no one is allowed to have their own vision, and to do so is rebellion. The husband is not allowed to set his own vision for the family, nor is the wife allowed to have her own vision for the family; both are to pursue God’s vision together. The scripture teaches “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 16:25 ESV). Keeping this in mind, let us look at the roles for the husband and wife further . . .

Man was created first. The woman came out of man. Adam also named the woman. These were both signs of his authority. From the beginning, before sin came into the world, the husband was created to lead and to be the head of his family. The husband’s headship was not an afterthought. Paul makes this clear in 1 Timothy 2, when he appeals to this as the reason for man’s authority in the church. Paul also refers to this fact elsewhere, “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” (1 Corinthians 11:8,9). The woman was given to the man because he could not accomplish God’s vision without her. Adam needed his wife to succeed. Paul quickly follows this with, “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God” (1 Corinthians 11:11,12). Her support for God’s vision was essential. It was part of God’s design to accomplish the vision God had for mankind. And after God had presented the woman to the man, God “saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:31 ESV). The roles God had established between the man and the woman were beautiful, breath taking, splendid, grand, pleasurable, and life giving.

The role God had given the woman at the beginning was intensely beautiful and imperishable. She is to be a support and help-meet to her husband. The scripture says that the head of the woman is the man. The wife is to look to her husband for instruction and value his leadership and direction. God gave Adam his commandment, before He made the woman. Adam was to speak God’s word’s to his wife. Paul describes how wives are to be cleansed and sanctified by their husbands through the washing of the word (Ephesians 5:26). Apart from God and the scripture, the husband should be the first and primary source of sanctification and teaching for the wife. This is one of the reasons why Paul states in 1 Corinthians 14, “If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home” (ESV). The wife is to look to her husband in this, because he needs her. Her thoughts and concerns are precious, and as she comes to him as her head drawing him out, he also is sanctified and grows in the Lord, through her strength. He becomes more like Christ as she displays the beauty of the glory of God, through her submission. 1 Peter 3 shows that the wife’s submissive behavior is the most influential thing on a man’s heart. A submissive wife is not a weak wife, the scripture does not abide the thought of a weak woman. A wife has the fortitude and the strength to build her home, even if her husband is weak and worthless. A woman is not to compromise her strength, but to approach her husband in her strength as she submits to him. As she comes to her husband and submits to him, in strength, not weakness, God’s vision for the family is strengthened.

Peter discusses the sanctifying power of a godly woman and how her beauty can even change the heart of a hard, calloused, and ungodly man (1 Peter 3).  Peter describes a beautiful woman as one who is precious, valuable, needed, and cherished both to the husband and to God. He states, “but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.” Therefore, beauty for a woman is having a gentle and quiet spirit. And this “gentle and quiet spirit” is displayed by the wife’s submission and obedience to her husband, by looking to him as her head and lord. In the letter to the Ephesians, Paul states, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”

Obedience and submission to the husband, is the calling of God for the wife. Her vision should be caught up in supporting her husband’s pursuit of God’s vision. “A virtuous and worthy wife [earnest and strong in character] is a crowning joy to her husband” (Proverbs 14:2, Amplified). The bible describes her as noble, influential, powerful, and strong. This is not the world’s idea of submission. Our culture does not define or understand submission correctly. It is a submission and obedience that come from the inner beauty of a woman who knows her God and intimately pursues His glory.  The Proverbs 31 woman is a woman of ingenuity, intelligence, wisdom, strength, and ability. She has the full trust of her husband, not because she is weak, but because she is strong. “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Like Joseph, her husband does not need to concern himself with anything under her care. “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” He knows she will support him and his leadership in the vision God has given them together as a family. She is his partner and companion. She is his primary support and council. She is the number one influence in his life. He desperately relies on her strength. No one, no man or woman, is better suited to help him pursue God. In Proverbs 31, it states, “Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land” (ESV). Don’t read this too quickly. This is not a description of the husband, but a description of what the wife has accomplished. Because of her support for her husband, he is known and respected and influential. He couldn’t accomplish this without her. God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone . . ..” The scripture states, “The wisest of women builds her house . . .” (Proverbs 14:1a, ESV). A woman partners with her husband to establish the home. And she can also tear it down in foolishness. The wife has a lot of influence in establishing or tearing down God’s vision for the family. The husband is not meant to do it without her. He desperately needs his wife as a coheir and partner in the Kingdom.

Paul writes in Titus, “Older women, . . . They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” The idea of submission comes from God’s word which means it comes from the very heart of God. He established the role of the wife at creation and sustained it in the scripture. God established the role of the wife, for God has a bigger vision – the Gospel story of Christ and the Church. Paul states that the relationship between a husband and wife is an image of Christ and the church, a husband or a wife who fail to display their end of that image, are failing to display the Gospel in their lives to themselves and to others, and the Gospel and the word of God is at risk of being reviled. A Godly woman submits to her husband because she has a deep understanding of the Gospel and the power of the Kingdom of God. She has a love for God’s word and trusts her Father. The strongest influence a woman has on her husband is her submission. It is imposing and powerful, not weak. It is the strongest power to turn the heart of a hardhearted calloused man to God. If this kind of man is going to change, the strongest influence is the “quiet and gentle spirit” of a godly wife. And if this is the case for an ungodly man, how much more so is this the case for the godly husband. A godly woman is full of strength and influence and the wisest of them will use that strength to support her husband and build her home.

When mankind sinned the relational purpose of God for the husband and wife became corrupted. Sin brought curses on mankind, one of those being . . . “[Wife,] Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16 ESV) Corruption entered the relationship between husband and wife. The wife’s desire was no longer to serve her husband, but instead was to devour her husband and thus corrupting her husband. And the man’s sinful response to this affront would be to crush his wife and to neglect loving and cherishing his wife, and thus destroying her. We see this same type of wording in Genesis 4, when God speaks to Cain, “sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” In Hebrew language these two passages are identical. Sin desires to overtake devour Cain, but Cain proper response is to crush and put to death sin. And it is in the fall, where both the husband and the wife, because of sin, decided to take up and pursue their own vision and purpose instead of God’s. Sin corrupted the love the husband had for his wife; he no longer cherished her like he should. And the wife no longer supported and submitted to her husband, like she should. God’s vision for the family was corrupted because of sin, pride, selfishness, argumentative spirits, harshness, and more took its place.

It is not God’s design for a man to crush his wife. Nor is he a dictator. He is to portray Christ in His headship. And he is to be under Christ’s headship.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5)

God’s design for man from the beginning was to shepherd his family in the way of the Lord. Man was made to be the head of the family. As a woman is called to submit to her husband, the husband is called to love and lay down his life for her. He lays down his vision, his desires, his hopes and submits them to Christ for her and his children. When mankind sinned God address Adam, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife . . ..” Adam put his wife’s vision above God’s vision. Adam failed as the head of his family by failing to submit and obey to his Head and Lord. He is to lead and protect his family under the vision of God. The man is not allowed to lead by his own interests, desires or whims or the desires of others.  The husband is not allowed to have his own vision but has the duty of establishing the vision of God for his family, by presenting the Word and the Gospel. The scripture calls husbands to love, cherish, lay down their lives, and lead as Christ does the church. This is a high calling and is accomplished as the husband lays himself down underneath the headship of Christ. The husband’s first allegiance is to Christ. And through that allegiance to Christ, a husband can love his wife.

The scriptures paint a beautiful picture of the enduring passion and enveloping love of a husband for his wife. The husband is commanded to love his wife in the most intense and sacrificial way, with a love that represents Christ’s love for His church, His beloved. God has commanded husbands to sanctify their wives through loving her, by giving up of themselves for her, and gently washing her with the word. Husbands, this is a romantic picture of love. Imagine the physical picture of this and do this with your words, emotions, and actions toward your wife. There is nothing more romantic. This love is not weak, for the husband’s love comes from the strength of Christ. It is a love that has amazing strength and integrity to it that does not compromise on God’s heart for her, while still being full of tenderness. The husband is to live with his wife in an understanding way learning how to cherish and nourish her as his own body. Our words and actions should build her up, not tear her down. The husband is to love his wife, by shepherding his family towards the love of Christ, not himself. It is a love that firmly calls us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Jesus. And a husband must follow Jesus to be the husbands his wife needs.

Just as Christ’s love is effectual in sanctifying our hearts, the husband’s love through Christ will be the most powerful instrument in changing his wife and helping her to grow in Christ. Even if she is an ungodly woman, this is the story of Hosea and this is the story of Christ and His church. So whether or not she is godly or not, the husband is to passionately love his wife, knowing that this love is effectual. And even if she does not change, the husband’s head is Christ, and he is to be faithful to the covenant that has been made between him and his wife, through Christ.

The scripture describes wives as “cherished”, “delight of your eyes”, “beloved”, “praised”, “more precious than jewels”, and “favor of the LORD”. We are to love our wives above all others and hold fast to her.  In Malachi God says that she is the husband’s companion by covenant. 1 Peter 3 states that she is our co-heir. And husbands are to treat their wives as such. The Lord states that he is a witness between the husband and how he treats his wife, and will not listen to a man who does not cherish his wife

“You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant”. (Malachi 2:13-14 ESV)

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7, ESV)

The wife is not just a companion but a co-heir and co-worker in the Kingdom of God. God told them both, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” The husband must value his wife as a co-heir and co-worker in accomplishing this. She is is to be his primary counsel and an equal partner in this vision. God requires that the man leads in a way that cherishes his wife as an equal partner in this vision.

God expects the husband to cherish his wife. And if he does not, his prayers will not be heard. This is sobering. The wife has been given to the husband by God. The husband should not reject or treat this gift with disregard. If he does so it is an affront to God. She is your companion, cherished one, beloved by covenant. But this is the joy that God has given husbands, to portray the love of Christ for His bride. And it is exciting, because just as God has given you your wife, He also has established the covenant between you and your wife and made you, her husband. The covenant is made by God and is fulfilled through Christ. A husband leads and loves his family on his knees. And God is faithful and will efficaciously work through a man who sincerely comes to him. And he says, “Come all who are weary.” It in the work of Christ and under the headship of Christ, that a man is able to lead. A Godly man is a man who presses into the gospel.

 “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church”. (Ephesians 5)

The relationship between a husband and wife represents Christ and the church. It is a portrayal of the cosmic story of the Gospel. How we treat our spouses reflects on this image. This story was set at the beginning when the first man and woman were created. And we have the pleasure of participating in that story in our marriages. We can have faith to believe in the beauty, the wonder, and the romance of the story or we can go our own way. But it is under the vision of God for the family that we find true romance and become participants in something greater than ourselves.

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. –Proverbs 21:9

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; –Proverbs 27:15

It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman. – Proverbs 21:19

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. –Proverbs 25:24

A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain. –Proverbs 19:13

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Eph. 4:29

“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout
is a beautiful woman without discretion.”

I have heard so many stories of man who marries a beautiful woman in appearance, only to soon regret his decision, because the woman had no discretion. This woman who was once a beautiful woman to him, quickly becomes as beautiful as a ring in a pig’s snout to him. Even though she has not aged, her beauty fades away.

The opposite is true for a man who marries a woman because of her godly character, no matter her physical appearance. “She is far more precious than jewels.” She lets her “adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” This man boasts in his wife and is filled with great joy when thinking of her. Instead of fading, her beauty, both physical and internal, grows and increases and is abundant. And he is satisfied by her physical appearance.

Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

I had a random revelation, this morning, I was thinking about verses on being a godly single man and woman and realized that Proverbs 31 is not describing a married woman, but a single woman.

You see, Proverbs 31 is the advice of a loving mother to her son. She advices him to not seek pleasure in ways that destroy kings, women and alcohol, and instead to pursue justice as a godly man and to find a godly wife. And then we go into a description of this godly woman.

We often read this description of this woman as a description of a married woman; however, it is not. It is a description of a single woman. King Lemuel’s mother is not telling her son to look for a married woman but is describing the character of a single woman and telling her son, marry this kind of woman.

God does not have a separate plan for preparing to be a godly single woman than He does for preparing to be a godly married woman. He only has a plan for being a godly woman. Proverbs 31 applies equally to the single woman and to the married woman. God is concerned about the character of a woman, and it is the character of a godly woman which will enable her to handle any situation in life, whether married or single.

So single women, read Proverbs 31 again, it was written about you and applies to your life, today. And know that whether single or married, God has called you into an unfading beauty, for you are more precious than jewels.

This is backwards. When we train our daughters, the focus of our training should be to train them for God’s calling on their lives, not the world’s opinion on what they should be. The focus of training our daughters is to teach them how to be godly women and to equip them to follow the calling that God has for them as wives and mothers. This does not mean that we don’t educate our daughters or equip them with skills. The Proverbs 31 woman was a skillful and well-educated woman. She was truly and independent woman and quite capable of taking care of herself. And she was quite capable of taking care of others. She kept her family warm and helped a many hungry have a full belly. And even quite capable in business matters, as well. And a godly woman should hone these giftings that God has placed in her. But these giftings are used to build up the home and to establish God’s work in her as a mother and wife and the ministry of her home. These giftings are not for building her career. A career is never her focus, being a godly woman and a godly mother and a godly wife are her focus.

So, in training our daughters our focus should be in training her to be a godly woman, not a career woman.

One objection might be what if my daughter never marries. There are two things, a daughter is under the father till she marries, so if needed she has that as a protection. But even without her father’s care, a woman like the Proverbs 31 woman, is more than adequately capable of facing the hazards of this world and has the mental fortitude as well as the strength and wisdom to do well. Also, a woman well trained in being a wife and a mother has been trained in skills that will not be wasted, they will help her as a single woman both for herself and for others. A woman trained in this way is a huge asset to the church and to others, whether or not she ever marries.

Women Theologians

Ladies,

As men, we can read the passages such as 1Timothy 2:9-15 or 1 Corinthians 14:33-38 and see in them only restrictions on women. We can react and say, “You have to obey this rule and this restriction”. Although there is a reason for these verses, and we must take them very seriously, if this is our attitude, we don’t understand these verses. These verses are not there to give us an attitude of “placing restrictions on women”; these verses instead challenge us as men to lead and honor the women around us.

We can look at the scriptures and see God’s heart for women. A Godly woman is described with eloquence and dignity throughout. We have women like Sarah, Ruth, and Esther, and many more who stand out in the history of Israel. We watch and listen as Jesus treats women with honor. They were always near ministering to him, and he to them. Paul walked with the women around him, relying on the gifts that God had given them. And there is so much more, but for time’s sake, I am barely even touching the surface of how the scripture describes the beauty of women. My point is I don’t believe that the majority of heroes of the faith should be men. As we see these scriptures opened up and obeyed, we will see the churches littered with the heroines of the faith. There is no place for any thought that women have less to offer. The Bible screams against this and rebukes any man who contemplates this. It is not God’s heart to put restrictions on women. In the scriptures, He has provided an amazing protection of the beauty and the expressiveness that only a woman can provide. It is God’s heart for a woman to bloom, under the nourishment and protection of His word.

Our pastor has recently been talking about how Mary’s act of anointing Jesus before His death was a powerful and poignant act. In that act, one woman out-theologized all the many men that were in the room. If anyone thinks because a women cannot preach or teach, she has less expression of theology they are wrong. Christ made it clear, what this woman had done would be told everywhere the Gospel was preached. By her act she has challenged both men and women over the ages wherever the Gospel has been preached. Jesus had no intention to limit this woman’s expression of theology . . . nor do the scriptures.

As men, God has called us to lead in the church, but we’d be a fool if we thought we were more than what we are, fellow servants in the Lord, co-laborers in the gospel of God’s grace, with no more influence and strength then the women around us. What Mary did was powerful and meaningful. And she out shone the men around her. A woman can express theology and influence the direction of the church in a way that a man could never do. The church cannot be all God has called it to be without the women, co-laboring with the men.

God has called us men to lead, but He has also called us to honor and cherish the women in our lives. Peter tells husbands that if they do not honor and value their wives, their prayers will not be heard. I don’t believe this just applies to a husband and a wife. If we as men do not honor and cherish the women in our church, we are in danger of having our prayers not heard. A woman has a desire to be captivating and God has left her with a means for that desire to be filled. A woman shouldn’t have to force herself on us to show her theological insight. No, instead as men, we should treat women as captivating and valued. We should seek out what their hearts and what their ideas are. We should be in awe of the insight that God has given women.

Sisters, as your brothers, we want to learn how to encourage you to express theology in the fullness of being a woman and to treat you with the eloquence and dignity that the scriptures dictate. We want you to feel valued and cherished. We want to fight for you with our prayers and actions. Not by convention, by loving you like Jesus, laying our lives down, letting our lives point to one who is truly Romantic, your Savior and Lord. May we be stripped away, so that you will see Jesus. Be patient, we still have a lot to learn, but we pursuing to learn more and grow together through God’s stunning grace in becoming men who treat you with honor, and with God’s help we will. He will grant what He commands . . . by grace alone.

May Our Eyes Always Be Upon Jesus
(written by Landon Lewis)
May our eyes always be upon Jesus,
The founder and perfecter of our faith,
So that we may not grow weary or faint
As we attempt each day to run the race.

Do not grant our eyes the chance to wander
Lest we will give in to the temptation
To stop and marvel at our endurance
Or cringe at our lack of motivation.

Direct our eyes to the one who came down
And though tempted to quit, ran for His church
In perfect, perpetual righteousness
And endured the cross to finish the work.

As our eyes behold your Son’s bloody stripes
May we rest in His race and perfect time
Because it is His hands that will carry us
And His legs that have crossed the finish line.

May God cultivate and bring your heart to full bloom,
Your brothers

Daughters of the King,

(written by Landon Lewis)
For lack of a better word I’ll declare
You blind as you look with unconcerned eyes
At your capturers but are unaware
That they already have you baited and tied.
With images of what is “beautiful”
They have brainwashed you to make you accept
That you are not physically wonderful
Because your look goes against their concept.
But dear lady I ask that you focus
Your eyes on your mirror but first your heart
To see the beauty you have failed to notice
And the outer beauty you had from the start.
If you look and are not able to see,
Open your ears and my words will set you free.

I listened as a man told a story on the radio about himself and his wife on their honeymoon. His wife had just gotten out of the shower in the morning and as she looked at herself in the mirror she began pointing out parts of her that were unattractive. Her husband walked up to her and placed his arms around her and faced her towards himself. He told her that she was insulting his wife; he would not have that. Then he gently said, “Look into my eyes.” She looked into his eyes. It was obvious in his eyes that there was no woman more beautiful. As she looked at him he said, “Let my eyes be your mirror.” . . . He would go on to tell her that throughout their marriage.

After hearing this story, I could hear Christ saying, “Look into my eyes, Let my eyes be your mirror.” I thought about this and I questioned whether or not I wanted this. I don’t want to just be told that I am loved. I want to face my sin. I want to have victory over it. I want a love that is real, not frivolous. Then I thought about Jesus’ gaze, the gaze that penetrates the deepest parts of the heart, leaving nothing unsearched. How it is stern and loving. There is no weakness to His love. He doesn’t lightly say, “I love you.” I realized that when Jesus says, “Look into my eyes”, His gaze not only searches the inmost being, but it also purifies the deepest sin.

There she stood clothed, yet naked
Before Him who looked into her
heart.
Fire and judgment stirred relentlessly
And searched . . .

She looked into His eyes and saw
severity
He did not penetrate her heart purposelessly
But was determined

She could no longer stand and fell . . .

His arms wrapped around her and
He held her close
“My child, my child, come close”

She looked into His eyes once again
And was consumed by His love.
And, and . . .
Amazed by the beauty He saw.
And yet His gaze had not changed.

As we look into His eyes, we see such great love, as He holds us in His arms and tells us that we are lovely. How could this be? A gaze so piercing and yet it contains such an enravished and gentle love, one drop being more than all the poems could contain. One drop bringing healing to our hurting heart. Such a love that makes you forget about yourself and abandon all as you are enraptured in romance of the Beloved. Now, all that matters is being with Him. Romance is at the heart of sanctification and holiness.

So let us, look into His eyes and let Him be our mirror. “Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.” This is not a gaze into our idea or concept of who Jesus is. But it is the gaze of a broken and contrite heart that trembles at God’s word and allows His truth to run wild and rule as a lion, without compromise. It is a humble walk before our Creator and Lord. It is a gaze that lets Christ be who He is and a gaze that allows us to be who He is creating us to be. It is the gaze that takes our breath away.

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His Marvelous light . . .” 1 Peter 2:9

(written by Landon Lewis)
Who are the sheep O’ Christ that you’d take their place
And be pierced through by your Father’s own hand
When it was they who deserved the disgrace
Because it was they who sinned through the first man?
Do you love them that much? Are you that attached?
Just because they were given didn’t mean
You had to save. The door you could have unlatched.
The darkness you could have left to be seen.
But no, you had to open their blind eyes
And take the corks out of their deafened ears
Then draw them through the door where salvation lies
And where your glory is sure to appear.
You did everything to save your own.

Daughters of the Father and beloved by the Most High, your beauty, both inner and physical, are wrapped around this, beholding Jesus. As your brothers and men, we want you to see and believe this beauty in you. The beauty that does not look at the worldly standards, which fall so short of what physical beauty is, but a physical and inner beauty so great that it defies imagination and is stunningly captivating. A beauty that is fit for the Kingdom and captures the heart of our King and your brothers.

In Him with love,

Your Brothers

Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.

I think it is important to realize that Paul here is fighting against the oppression of women. They have a valued role in the church that only they can fill. No man can fill it. And if it is taken away, it is taken away at great loss to the church, who needs women to be strong. If you read Paul’s writings and the rest of the scripture it is very clear that it not Paul’s heart nor the heart of God to restrict women. Paul knows that there is a strength and power that God has given women and he is fighting for that. He does not want to see them stripped away of their strength, power, dignity, and influence. He is fighting for Womanhood, something that is vital for the church to be strong. Their strength is being stripped away from them when we don’t believe God. It is like stripping the pedals off a flower and telling it that it must be a tree to have worth. Don’t underestimate the power of a flower and don’t underestimate a woman who is godly, she has the strength to capture hearts and to change the world. God is very clear that He intends a woman to have strength and dignity and influence. When we try to do this in our own wisdom, we hinder the beauty that God has given women. In walking in our own wisdom, we oppress women and embrace the world, instead of trusting in a God who loves us and cares for us and knows us best. Often these scriptures are approached with such a fear of losing one’s rights that all objectivity is lost, instead of approaching God’s word with confidence that He is trustworthy and what He says is for our good, and that its ok to take an honest and objective look at these scriptures. It is ok, God is safe. God turns the strength and wisdom of this world over and destroys it with something far greater and more beautiful. He is an amazing God. And His dreams for us are so much bigger than our own. He is truly worthy of our trust.

And as a church we should be at the forefront of defending the honor and dignity of people, and this includes women. As a church we should also be encouraging people to trust and fear God and to believe His word.

For me, I have a huge longing to see women have more of a role and influence in the church and society, and my heart breaks to see the high standing that God has for women being torn down by our doubt and fear and by the oppression of the wisdom of this world. I for one believe in women and what they have to give to the church and society.

As men since we were little we have been hit by the message of the world. It is the adulteress of Proverbs crying out at every corner, “come here this is what is beautiful; this is what will satisfy” (paraphrased). We so often believe these words (“With much seductive speech she persuades him”), and we chase after the lust of our eyes and follow the lures of the adulterous woman, unaware that it will cost us our life, “for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng”. It is as if we are spiritually mad, running after things that have never satisfied us, but only cause us to thirst more. And yet in our thirst, we continue in this madness; we forsake the spring of life for broken cisterns. It destroys men. Proverbs describes its end as death, Jesus describes it as hell. “It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Men, if you think a beautiful woman will satisfy your physical desires, you are sadly mistaken. “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of men.” Our hearts are made for the Lord. This culture has lied to us about what beauty is, it cries out at every corner, and we have bought into it, even in the church. We have let the world cheat us and we have settled for less than what God has for us. It should cause us to weep and be angry.

But that is not the end of this mother’s words, “but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised”. . . “She is far more precious than jewels”. The scripture talks of a woman whose worth exceeds jewels, who is worthy of praise, and is to be honored, and who will also fully gratify all our physical longings and desires. Her beauty goes beyond the imagination of men, is captivating and fully satisfying, and meets the deepest longings of our hearts. It is incorruptible. “Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging of the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” This is not an outward appearance or pretense of godliness, but a deep inner walk with the Lord. It is woman who has a deep trust in the Lord and embraces womanhood.

Men, this beauty is not just spiritual, it is also physically satisfying. God does not ignore the physical aspect to beauty. God is honest about our physical longings. In Proverbs it says,

“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?”

God commands us to be “intoxicated always” by the love of our wife and to be filled “at all times with delight”. God describes one’s wife as beautiful, “a lovely deer, a graceful doe.” This passage is not talking about a young wife with a young body that fits with the world’s description of beauty, but a wife that has grown old with you. She may not have the body of a young woman, but she has the only body that can fully satisfy her husband. The word “fill” here means to have abundance, to be saturated, to have more than enough, to take one’s fill. In other words, to have every physical longing filled and to have no need for more. Your wife will fill every physical longing you have. You may be intoxicated by the love of a forbidden woman, but her embrace will never fill your physical longings. “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of men.” To rejoice in your wife is a command of God to the men, and I don’t believe God will command something He won’t perform. If you find a godly wife, God will satisfy your every physical longing for beauty as well. It will be filled and overflowing. Men, “let your fountain be blessed”! The Lord is faithful; trust Him to fulfill what He has promised. Do not be led astray by the lies of the adulteress, by death.

This is the standard of what should attract us as men as we pursue to find a wife, physical attributes or pretenses should no longer be the standard. And it is a standard by which we are treat other women who are not our wife. It is not only our duty to have this as our standard of beauty, but it is also our delight and exceeding joy, as God transforms our definition of beauty to His, and His passions become our own. Women need this from us, the passion of God through us, declaring to them that they as women are beautiful, more precious than jewels. Oh, how “good and acceptable and perfect” is the will of God and how wonderful is His gifts to us!

I know it can be hard, we are hit by television, commercials, the media, by how women dress in our society, even walking in grocery stores with images (although much of this can be stopped, if we act as men). I grew up in this as well and it is hard for me, and I struggle. But if we give in to it then we are not walking in godliness or in manhood, but instead eating the vomit of this world. What does the Bible say about this? “Therefore, I urge you brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect”. We must ask God to transform the way we think, so that it conforms to Christ and His view of women. We as men are to demonstrate Christ’s heart and love for the women in our lives. The change must start here with us, and we must pass this on to our sons and other men, speaking to them while they are still young, defining for them what a beautiful woman is and teaching them to deny the world, the adulteress woman.

I do not think we can do this alone. I know I cannot do this alone; I definitely don’t have it all together. I need other men to walk, in honesty and openness, with me in this, to covenant with me to fight; to not look at a woman with lust. To keep me accountable and speak straight words to me when I compromise; the scripture says that we are not even to have a hint of sexual immorality. I need men to be men. God is good and He is faithful, and we can give Him our hearts in this.

Women, this is not just for men, it is for you as well. Women are not innocent in their view of men. Be careful to not be lured by the trappings and pretenses of this world. Look to your Father who provides all things.