Divorce – My Beloved is Mine

Trail of Tears

mybelovedismine — Sun, 01 May 2022 19:44:19 +0000

I have heard some rough stories. One recently of a man whose wife left him because she was trans. He wants to raise his kids in the Lord but is forced to send them to public school and because of dual custody, his kids are strongly influenced by the mom. I have talked with a wife, who has been faithful to her husband and a support despite him being an alcoholic. He died never changing. Many have been hurt by toxic leadership in a church. Many feel like no matter how hard they try they fail or something bad happens. Right now, women in the war in Ukraine are being systematically raped, kid’s orphaned, many losing their homes, and this is not new. We have a whole world history of people suffering and not seeing happiness on this earth. Christians have suffered with severe depression or questions about their faith that never went away. We feel like we are falling apart. The prophets suffered; even longed for death. Everyday horror happens to people professing to believe in Christ. We are not rescued from the suffering of this world. And some never escape from these horrors despite holding on to their faith in Christ. Hell exists because of sin, and because sin brings hell, some of us get more a glimpse of its reality than others. Because of sin, life is not fair. Not only are we depraved, our world is depraved. What is our hope in circumstances like this? Our hope is only this – Christ’s covenantal love will not fail. This world will fail, we will fail, but even in horrors this sinful world can bring us, our hope remains secure. I wish I could promise, “Hey, just be faithful and you will be restored in this world.” I’ve seen too much to promise this. Things may not get better. They may even get worse. But I can say, “Hold on to the promises of Jesus, his covenantal love will not fail, and one day you will see God face to face. When you see God’s face the momentary afflictions of this world will fall away and your tears will be wiped away by a hand that has loved you all along the way.” Christianity does not bring us into happiness or a better world, it reconciles our relationship with God. Our prize in Christianity is not happiness, no, our treasure, our reward is Love. We will be with our Beloved! There are love songs proclaiming the mountains, fires, and oceans we would travel through for earthly love. In this life you will suffer and have loss. You will have more than you can bear. We will be with our Beloved, despite our sin. And in spite of the sin and the horror in this world, despite this trail of tears, Christ’s covenantal love will conquer all, even your own struggling heart, and you will experience a Love and Beauty like no other. This does not take away the sorrow you feel here and now. It doesn’t take away mine. And some situations it would be abnormal not to feel sorrow. But know that even in all this Christ’s covenantal love is with you.

Because of the hardness of heart

mybelovedismine — Mon, 20 May 2013 18:30:00 +0000

“He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.”

The root of divorce, the tensions, and our struggles in marriage are our hard hearts. We refuse to surrender to the Word. We are skeptical and don’t have faith in God’s grand vision of marriage, trusting in our own desires instead. We refuse to surrender to ourselves and demand that our visions and will and view of the world rule.

A marriage brings together two messed up sinners, who need the word of God spoken into their lives. The battle for marriage is a battle to lose oneself and to trust in a God who deeply loves us. As we trust and cast our lives on God, believing the Gospel, and letting it penetrate into who we are, we will begin to be captivated by the image of the portrayal of Christ and the Church. This is the pursuit that makes marriage grand.

As a body, we must be speaking this truth into each other’s lives. Our sinful natures battle this truth with in us. We are so prone to wonder. But while it is called, Today, let us not forsake encouraging each other, reminding each other that the beauty of the Kingdom is breaking through and is more real than anything in our imagination or skepticism.

Church’s response to divorce

mybelovedismine — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 18:09:00 +0000

The scripture is very hard on divorce. God understands the destructive power it has. When you take the image of Christ and the church and destroy it, devastation will occur. And in his love for us, God is hard on divorce in order to protect us. And we can’t be light with it. The Bible teaches that in most cases, excommunication is required for the offending party. And if we love the person, we need to follow through with church discipline and strong teaching. However, in my heart, my primary blame for divorce is not with those couples who get a divorce, for them my heart is broken. I believe the primary promoter of divorce in the church is often the church (at least in general). There are some churches that do an amazing job in this area, but in general the church is not teaching enough on how divorce is an affront to the Gospel. And in general, the church has lost a proper fear of God when it comes to divorce. And more importantly the church is not being gospel oriented in meeting the needs of those struggling in marriage. Marriage is hard. There must be church discipline, but if you sit in judgment on those who are going through a divorce, be aware, you are sitting in judgment because you don’t understand your own heart. Staying married is difficult. As a church we should have compassion on marriages that are struggling. The church should be a place where a couple can come, be honest with where they are at, and say, “We don’t want to stay married. We don’t see any other way out, but divorce” and be surrounded by people who will run to them with open arms, love them, and say, “You are right, you cannot do it, but this is what the Gospel is for, and we are here for you and will love you through this”. We must be hard on divorce, in love, the scripture demands it. But it also demands that we take the plank out of our own eyes, that we don’t sit in judgment, and that we strongly present the Gospel in these situations. We walk alongside them, and we pray for God to deliver them. The scripture calls us to compassion and charity. The church should be a place where the struggling, the weary, the broken, and the downtrodden are met with the Gospel. God is Holy and God is patient with us. With divorce we must have a proper fear of God, a fear that does not allow us to back down on the horridness of divorce and a fear that drives us to compassion for those who are struggling, because except for the grace of God, I also would be going down a horrible path. If divorce is prevalent in the church, it is because as a church we need to understand the Gospel more and the fear and amazing love that come with it.

Divorce is rebellion

mybelovedismine — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 18:03:00 +0000

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Mark 10:6-9

Jesus taught that it is God who brings together a husband and a wife in marriage. It was that way from the beginning and continues to be the case, today. God has joined them together and made them one.

When we divorce, we are telling the LORD, this spouse you have given me, I reject. I reject your work in my life and my marriage. Divorce is an act of rebellion against God. God hates divorce.

Marriage can be hard, and we may suffer difficulties and heartache. However, God wants to walk with you through these difficulties in your marriage. He wants you to come to Him and be embraced by Him. Divorce is rejecting God’s embrace and solving your heartache on your own. You may be weeping and crying out to the Lord but refusing to do it His way.

“You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Malachi 2:13-16

Divorce is rebellion against an Almighty God. So guard your heart and do not be faithless. God’s way is not always easy, but it is coming to the embrace of a God who loves you.

For those who have rebelled through divorce. God’s arms are open wide, there is forgiveness for rebellion. Reject your rebellion and come into His embrace and submit to His love and His way.