My soul clings to you,Your right hand upholds me.
Here are some tips in having a conversation with someone who disagrees with you
Be open minded
Be Humble – you always have something to learn
• Go into the conversation with an expectation to learn something from the other person
• Regardless of the disagreement, you usually have something to learn, even if it is only how to communicate better.
• Be willing to be proven wrong
Do not make assumptions
• Don’t put your assumptions on the other person
• If you assume or make assumptions about the other person’s views, you will find that you are arguing with a person that only exists in your own imagination, instead of talking to a real person
• Don’t attribute ideas, thoughts, arguments or consequences to your opponent that they do not hold to. This only creates a rift between you and the other person
• Don’t take their statements out of context or out of their intended meaning.
• Don’t assume things about their character, motives, or heart.
Listen
• Work hard to fully understand your opponent’s views, background, and perspectives.
• Give them a chance to clarify.
• Take the time to understand their position from their perspective.
• Ask questions and check with them to see if your understanding of their position is correct.
• Present the opposing view in its strongest form, don’t build a “straw man” and then knock it down.
• Work to be able to present the opposing side in a way that they would say that you were representing their view in an honest way and would comment, “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
Speak the truth in love
• Engage the person
• Get into the other person’s world. Talk with the person, not at the person. Ask you self, “How do I communicate this in a way that the other person can understand it where they are at?”
• It doesn’t help to prove you are right, if you cannot engage the other person with the truth.
• Be willing to be proven wrong
Goal
The purpose of a conversation is not to defend my position but to help each other grow in the truth. Who cares if I am wrong? What value is there in holding onto a lie? What we want is to align ourselves with what is true. Sometimes that will mean that I have to change my position.
