Beautiful

In Proverbs 31, King Lemuel sets down to write as he recalls “the utterance which his mother taught him”. These are the words that a mother installed into her son as a youth, and the words that he carried with him as a man. His mother taught him, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain” . . . “Do not give your strength to women, or your ways to that which destroys kings.” She warns him not to pursue a woman based on outward appearances and pretenses, but to cherish incorruptible and satisfying beauty.

As men since we were little we have been hit by the message of the world. It is the adulteress of Proverbs crying out at every corner, “come here this is what is beautiful; this is what will satisfy” (paraphrased). We so often believe these words (“With much seductive speech she persuades him”), and we chase after the lust of our eyes and follow the lures of the adulterous woman, unaware that it will cost us our life, “for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng”. It is as if we are spiritually mad, running after things that have never satisfied us, but only cause us to thirst more. And yet in our thirst, we continue in this madness; we forsake the spring of life for broken cisterns. It destroys men. Proverbs describes its end as death, Jesus describes it as hell. “It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Men, if you think a beautiful woman will satisfy your physical desires, you are sadly mistaken. “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of men.” Our hearts are made for the Lord. This culture has lied to us about what beauty is, it cries out at every corner, and we have bought into it, even in the church. We have let the world cheat us and we have settled for less than what God has for us. It should cause us to weep and be angry.

But that is not the end of this mother’s words, “but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised”. . . “She is far more precious than jewels”. The scripture talks of a woman whose worth exceeds jewels, who is worthy of praise, and is to be honored, and who will also fully gratify all our physical longings and desires. Her beauty goes beyond the imagination of men, is captivating and fully satisfying, and meets the deepest longings of our hearts. It is incorruptible. “Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging of the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” This is not an outward appearance or pretense of godliness, but a deep inner walk with the Lord. It is woman who has a deep trust in the Lord and embraces womanhood.

Men, this beauty is not just spiritual, it is also physically satisfying. God does not ignore the physical aspect to beauty. God is honest about our physical longings. In Proverbs it says,

“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?”

God commands us to be “intoxicated always” by the love of our wife and to be filled “at all times with delight”. God describes one’s wife as beautiful, “a lovely deer, a graceful doe.” This passage is not talking about a young wife with a young body that fits with the world’s description of beauty, but a wife that has grown old with you. She may not have the body of a young woman, but she has the only body that can fully satisfy her husband. The word “fill” here means to have abundance, to be saturated, to have more than enough, to take one’s fill. In other words, to have every physical longing filled and to have no need for more. Your wife will fill every physical longing you have. You may be intoxicated by the love of a forbidden woman, but her embrace will never fill your physical longings. “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of men.” To rejoice in your wife is a command of God to the men, and I don’t believe God will command something He won’t perform. If you find a godly wife, God will satisfy your every physical longing for beauty as well. It will be filled and overflowing. Men, “let your fountain be blessed”! The Lord is faithful; trust Him to fulfill what He has promised. Do not be led astray by the lies of the adulteress, by death.

This is the standard of what should attract us as men as we pursue to find a wife, physical attributes or pretenses should no longer be the standard. And it is a standard by which we are treat other women who are not our wife. It is not only our duty to have this as our standard of beauty, but it is also our delight and exceeding joy, as God transforms our definition of beauty to His, and His passions become our own. Women need this from us, the passion of God through us, declaring to them that they as women are beautiful, more precious than jewels. Oh, how “good and acceptable and perfect” is the will of God and how wonderful is His gifts to us!

I know it can be hard, we are hit by television, commercials, the media, by how women dress in our society, even walking in grocery stores with images (although much of this can be stopped, if we act as men). I grew up in this as well and it is hard for me, and I struggle. But if we give in to it then we are not walking in godliness or in manhood, but instead eating the vomit of this world. What does the Bible say about this? “Therefore, I urge you brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect”. We must ask God to transform the way we think, so that it conforms to Christ and His view of women. We as men are to demonstrate Christ’s heart and love for the women in our lives. The change must start here with us, and we must pass this on to our sons and other men, speaking to them while they are still young, defining for them what a beautiful woman is and teaching them to deny the world, the adulteress woman.

I do not think we can do this alone. I know I cannot do this alone; I definitely don’t have it all together. I need other men to walk, in honesty and openness, with me in this, to covenant with me to fight; to not look at a woman with lust. To keep me accountable and speak straight words to me when I compromise; the scripture says that we are not even to have a hint of sexual immorality. I need men to be men. God is good and He is faithful, and we can give Him our hearts in this.

Women, this is not just for men, it is for you as well. Women are not innocent in their view of men. Be careful to not be lured by the trappings and pretenses of this world. Look to your Father who provides all things.